Consortium of corny punchlines

Film: Once Upon Ay Time In Mumbai Dobaara

Director: Milan Luthria

Shouldn't it have been Twice Upon A Time? Or a conventional Once Upon A Time In Mumbaai 2? Maybe a suffixed Returns or a completely different title altogether? But no, they decided to go with Once Upon Ay Time In Mumbai Dobaara (OUATIMD). And sadly, in this sequel to the film which was a decent re-creation of the 80s flamboyance, there are no talking points that go deeper than how the title should have been composed. In fact the entire film is as insignificant as the Y in the Ay and the A that was in the prequel's Mumbaai.

Overconfident from having sold the prequel, Luthria's film goes overboard with heavy-duty dialogues that swell up like helium balloons before bursting into nothingness. Every single line in the film, except perhaps the lyrics of the songs, is punctuated and exaggerated to sound deliberately ostentatious, which after a point makes you sick. The punches are only ironically amusing and it is hard not to judge the person sitting next to you, if he/she is genuinely falling for them.

Set roughly in the late 80s, the film picks nearly a decade after the climax of the previous film. Shoaib, played by Emraan Hashmi earlier, grows up and indigestibly turns into Akshay Kumar. And while the setting of a gangster thriller idly loiters around; OUATIMD plays itself out like a ridiculously childish, set-piece love triangle.

After Lootera, the sudden rise in expectations from Sonakshi have led to further disappointment as her character Jasmine sees her regress into the submissive, powerless role where she is at the mercy of two powerful men. One of those men, Shoaib, played by Akshay, is the villain, while Imran's Aslam is the archetypal hero.

Akshay Kumar simply recites punchlines throughout the film, with a cigarette, that has no regard for continuity, constantly lit between his fingers. Lacking the powerful aura of Ajay Devgn's Sultan Mirza and the charisma of Emraan's Shoaib, his black shades and well-kept hair hardly create a persona. While the first film gave us the memorable “Duaa mein yaad rakhna” by Sultan Mirza, Akshay's Shoaib throws one too many dialogues for us to remember any of them. And Imran Khan disappoints once again (or dobaara, if you may), with his contemporary body language and South Bombay accent. Maybe he never received the text that said the movie was set in the 80s.

Overall, OUATIMD is a null and void movie which serves no purpose other than killing time inside an air-conditioned dark-room. However, it will make truck loads of money and set precedents for more dobaaras of the same category.

At 160 minutes, the film is a fitting punishment to give to someone who has just lost a bet. With repetitive sentiments and caricatured leads, the film is a long test of endurance for anyone with a good taste in cinema. Beyond redemption, it wouldn't matter what the critics say. To put it in Shoaib's words, (read in Akshay's husky voice) -- “Agar aisi film ko rating diya, toh number bura maan jayenge.”

Rating: 1 out of 5 

Published in DNA (Pune) on August 17, 2013 

Pull the chain, stop this train!

Film: Chennai Express
Director: Rohit Shetty

“Don’t underestimate the power of a common man,” says Shah Rukh on numerous occasions in the film. The statement couldn’t be truer. With the crowd flooding films like Golmaals and Singham, the cinema of Rohit Shetty’s genre (we don’t have a name for it yet) has enough encouragement to bloom, and Chennai Express is a byproduct of the same sentiment.

A film whose fate cannot be altered even by a film critic with the abilities of Professor X, critiquing Chennai Express based on standard parameters would be an exercise in futility. Having said that, this film does not even live up to the standards of previous Rohit Shetty films. The film which starts off as an unabashed, in-your-face laugh ride derails (pun intended) into a set-piece drama from the nineties.

It tells the story of a 40-year-old single man, Rahul, who is assigned the task to immerse the remains of his dead grandfather in the sea at Rameshwaram. He boards the Chennai Express with a plan to cheat and leave for Goa with his friends. However, he has no idea that the hand he extends to help Meenama board the train in DDLJ fashion, will also bring him his life’s biggest conflict.

You see the film from Rahul’s perspective and therefore most of the humour is generated from his inability to understand Tamil and his forced attempt to stereotypically mimic the sounds. With a dearth of mind-blowingly hilarious moments, you have to make do mostly with whatever little banter Deepika and SRK share.

SRK’s effortless portrayal of Rahul relies heavily on the fact that he is playing his pet character on screen. From self-deprecating humour to puppy-face romantic looks to a beaten-to-pulp lover displaying courage, he puts his entire repertoire from DDLJ on display again.

Deepika, whose name quite fittingly appears before SRK’s in the opening credits, is the real star of this film. Her timely, accented punch-lines like “Kahaan se laiye ayisi bawkwaas dictionary?” and other cute Hindi phrases are what keep you upbeat during the endless 2.45 hours. And, the way she looks throughout the film, if enough girls watch the film, Deepika may be responsible for bringing sarees and half-sarees back into mass-fashion.

Apart from that, Chennai Express is a typical medium-distance journey in a second-class bogey. Rohit Shetty’s fetishes for cars toppling like dominos and fist fights with hefty people flying in all directions are stimulating on no level. Add to that a clichéd plot where Sathyaraj, who plays Meenama’s father Durgeshwara Azhagusundaram, finally let’s go of his daughter’s hand in the Jaa Simran Jaa sentiment, absolutely kills the mood.

Watch it for Deepika Padukone and a couple of chuckles, if you must. Most importantly, be careful common man, your attendance will make or break the film.

Rating: 2 out of 5

Published in DNA (Pune) on August 10, 2013

Uninhibited Noir Erotica

Film: BA Pass

Director: Ajay Bahl

On a Friday with nearly a dozen so-called star-less films releasing, Ajay Bahl’s BA Pass, starring Shilpa Shukla (our beloved Bindya Naik from Chak De! India) perhaps has the most familiar face. Based on Mohan Sikka’s The Railway Aunty, the film takes us on a journey of a young boy into a dark world that he is unfamiliar to.

Following William Blake’s pattern from Songs of Innocence and of Experience, the film opens with a recently orphaned FY BA student, Mukesh, who finds himself at the mercy of his reluctant aunt, with two younger sisters to take care of. While running household errands after attending college, and playing chess at a graveyard with a coffinmaker, a dodgy employment opportunity knocks on his doors. A lonely housewife, Sarika, seduces him and thrusts him into prostitution. One thing leads to another, and slowly, Mukesh’s life begins to collapse and all he can do is watch helplessly.

While the first half of the film lingers on how Mukesh loses his innocence, the second half is an ode of how he experiences life in the vividly dark shades of deceit, doubt and misfortune. What make the entire journey engaging are the raw visuals used in taking the story forward. However, after an intense show, the film’s graph radically falls in the final act, delivering an insufficient ending.

The most disconcerting imagery of an innocent boy entering a world of wrong, is done in the most honest and brutal way possible and (permissible by the censor board). But, even though the censor regulations enforce a certain limitation on what can be shown, the film manages to dodge the barbs and maintaining the required darkness. And although Shilpa Shukla is unnaturally overdressed in most love-making scenes; it still conveys the necessary message unlike Saif Ali Khan in Race, who makes love to Bipasha Basu with his pants on.

If the story doesn’t appeal to you, if noir films aren’t your cup of tea, you can still watch this film solely for Shilpa Shukla’s powerful performance. However, after Bindiya Naik in Chak! De India and Rajuben in Anurag Kashyap’s TV series Rajuben, it would be a treat to see her play a character of a different shade. Shadab Kamal, who plays Mukesh, has put a great effort in displaying the transformation of how a boy, under hostile circumstances, becomes a man.

Set in Delhi, the film is shot mostly interiors, but the exteriors fail to explore the dubious, shadowy, neon-lit back alleys which we are familiar with, thanks to Dev D. That apart, BA Pass is a good attempt at an erotic, noir drama and does enough to touch you. Had it been produced in a country with a more lenient censor board, it could have been much more.

Rating: 3 out of 5

Published in DNA (Pune) on August 3, 2013

Old Haunted House, New Hair-raising Horror

Film: The Conjuring

Director: James Wan

Ask any horror-film enthusiast and he will tell you to be a little cautious when a title has the word ‘Ring’ in it. And in the case of James Wan’s The Conjuring, they would be right. Based on an incident in the US in the 1970s, the film manages to, forgive the expression, scare the living s**t out of you.

Ed and Lorraine Warren are world renowned paranormal investigators, who are called to help a family terrorized by a dark presence at a secluded farm house. Forced to confront this demonic entity, the Warrens find themselves caught in the midst of the most horrifying case they would ever handle. Unlike the assembly line horror films, The Conjuring manages to create a living connection between its characters (who are more than mere sacrificial lambs in its narrative) and the audience.

By letting the camera linger on the dark portions of the frame and letting the imagination do most of the scaring, Wan assumes a high position as a storyteller and then, manages to make you jump out of your seat with the sound of a single clap. The film cashes on the fear of the unknown and only gradually reveals the imminent threat, letting the audience assume worse things than the film could have shown.

Once it reels you in, and has you wondering whether now is a right time to get your coffee refilled, it descends into playing out more conventional methods of scaring you — the creaking doors, woman in white and sudden loud noises. To some extent, as a character gets possessed by the evil spirit, the film’s narrative also gets possessed by the damned souls of almost every haunted-house film cliche.

Leading the audience to fear by cheating them always defeats the purpose of a horror film. But The Conjuring manages to steer clear of predictability in an almost Hitchcock-like suspense form. Time and again, Wan and his team manage to spring moments on the screen that make the entire cinema hall gasp for breath in unison. In addition, the most neglected element of this genre, the acting also works in its favour. Right from the five kids to the lead duo of Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson, the performances are more than adequate.

Finally, for the litmus test of a horror film: The Conjuring will affect your following night’s sleep. It will make you listen for sounds you don’t normally hear, terrify you when you see some suspicious movement, keep you away from lakes, big houses, dark rooms and mirrors for a while. And most importantly, remember not to hold hot coffee in your hand during tense moments.

Rating: 3 out of 5

Published in DNA (Pune) on August 3, 2013